RULES AND REGULATIONS GOVERNING THE BEHAVIOR OF OUR CUSTOMERS

First of all-remember that the customer is never right.

Before drinking each beer customer is to repeat six times "Customer is never right." When customer wishes to go to the restroom-please raise hand and barmaid will direct you to proper door.

Mother and daughter customers are not allowed to hold hands, kiss or pat each other on back. On week-ends they are not allowed to even talk to each other.

No after-shave lotion or talcum powder allowed on men customers.

Women must wear make-up-false eyelashes and beauty marks will be provided at the bar for those women customers who have just come from the beach and don't have their make-up kits with them.

Men may wear only stiff shirts and tails..

Any male customer caught buying a beer for another male customer will have to buy a beer for the barmaid too so that the management will know that the man customer is of high moral. character and not one of those characters.

Female customers may not talk at all-they are required to walk around the bar at least once every five minutes, dropping handkerchiefs and swooning at the far turn.

Male customers may NOT wave at friends or relatives passing by in the street because we'll have none of those gestures in this place, my dear.

Lady customers may smoke only if male customer lights cigarette for them.

Lady customers may smoke only cigarettes with ivory tips, jewelled pipes or Between the Acts cigars.

Male customers must have hair on the chest-if you have none-please bring along another chest with the required hair on it. (We will gladly refrigerate it for you while you're here). Male customers are required to spit periodically. Since we have no spittoons please use the guy next to you.

Please do not be offended if we do not serve you. Here are but a few of the people we could not serve if they were able to patronize us: Socrates, Wilde, Proust, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Queen Christina, Amy Lowell, Lord Tennyson, etc., etc. and far on into the night.

QUESTIONNAIRE TO BE FILLED IN BY PROSPECTIVE CUSTOMER BEFORE SELLING 15c BEER

Name..

Age...........

Occupation.

Home Phone..

Weight........... Height....

Religion......

Address.....

....Boss's Name.. Business Phone...

Color of Eyes..

Race.......

Political Denomination.

SEX

References (Please give names and addresses of five business or personal friends who can testify to your caracter. No relatives please.)

Mother's Maiden Name.

Place of Birth.......

Please answer the following questions in the space provided:

Do you have any children?.

Were they married?.

Father's Name. Weight at Birth....

Did you have parents?.

If so, to whom...

Where they happy?..

In the following spaces, please give names and addresses of five business or personal friends of your parents and their wives or husbands. (No relatives please).

Have you ever been examined by a psychiatrist?..

Has your psychiatrist ever been examined by a psychiatrist?. Did they have fun? Do you?.

Witnesses.

Why?..

Signed....

Notary Public.........

Please do not write in this space. This space is for the barmaid.

one

APPROVED

DISAPPROVED

This space for short people